Tuesday, August 7, 2012

It's Not All Black and White

Bio Parents = Bad
Foster Parents = Good


It's just not that clear cut.  Children are pulled out of a home for a reason and typically that reason is devastating.  However, that doesn't make their bio parents "BAD".  Yes, it means they have screwed up.  Yes, it means that they aren't parenting the way they should.  But no, they aren't always despicable people trying to hurt their children.

As much as a Foster Parent knows that in their head...their heart doesn't always agree.  A Foster Parent knows a lot of dirty inside truth that makes it really really easy to dislike the Bio Parent.  The Foster Parent works hard all week to get these kids into a routine to send them on a visit and watch it all fall apart.  They are taking the kids to the doctor appoints, helping them with school work, and taking them to multiple therapies to "work on issues" or "play catch up". 

However, the reality is that Bio Parents are real people.  Often they have gotten themselves in a very bad spot.  Often they are hurting to be with out their kids.  For our kids (and many others) they are reduced to seeing their children two hours a week and an occasional 10 minute phone call.  They miss all the important things in their kids lives.

Big Brother's birthday is this week.  His parents will miss it.  They will get to talk to him on the phone for a very short time.  They had to have a birthday party during their last visit.  I will get the privilage of decorating his door, singing him Happy Birthday, and cheering him on as a six year old. 

And that's not all they will miss these next few months:

*1st day of school
*Successful potty training
*School concerts
*School report cards
*Playing in the snow
*1st lost tooth
*New words and concepts

I wish it was as easy as saying, "they are bad and I am good."  But it's not.

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