This is how the conversation usually goes....
"So do you know if you are going to get those kids yet?"
"Umm...no. We are still a ways off of knowing whether they will be adoptable or not."
"Oh, so there parents haven't given them up yet.?"
And que the fake smile while I die inside. This conversation is so-very-common, especially among other Christians. Often people assume that the parents are purely evil and we, as the foster parents are the great rescuers that have come into save these kids from the horrors of the world.
It's just. not. true!
Have bio parents made mistakes? Absolutely. Are there times, a lot of times, they need to loose the right to their children? Of course. But please listen to those questions. A mistake. Loose rights. We throw it around as if it's nothing. We treat bio's with a distance and disdain for where their children are at.
Can it be horrible? Awful? Sad? Yes. Are they greatly affecting their children in unrepairable ways? Definitely.
I have learned something........If a child can go home, if it is safe and they can be cared for, then emotionally that is so much better for them. (Even if it breaks my heart into a million and one pieces.)
The other day Baby Girl kept repeating, "Mommy, my heart is so SAD. It is taking a long time to get home."
We were walking home from the park and it was taking a long time, but I didn't understand why that made her sad. Suddenly it dawned on me, she wasn't talking about my "home", her current "home". She was talking about going home to her parents.
God instituted families. God desires families. God is NOT happy when they are ripped to shreds. Sometimes permanent separation is necessary, but that doesn't mean that the brokenness is part of how God wanted it. Sin is the reason for the brokenness, not God.
Yes, God ordained adoption. But that adoption is part of the brokenness of the sinful world we live in. It was how he offered us a way out the muck and mire that we try to call our lives. It was how he redeems us and offers the ability the be part of his family. It is how he redeems these children's hurt and broken hearts and makes them new.
Just a note to Christians: Before you judge the bio parents and judge them. PLEASE take a moment to remember what God did in your life. Remember how broken and lost you were. With out the Grace of God we are on the other side of the judgement ourselves!
Showing posts with label Orphans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Orphans. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
Favorite Blogs About Foster Care and Adoption
Looking for a good blog about Foster Care or Adoption? I have several favorites. I have a lot I read and follow. Most of those can be found on the side. So here is my criteria for sharing the ones I did.
1. The blogger has to post pretty regularly.
2. They have to talk about foster care or adoption pretty regularly.
3. They have to be a blog that is both real, but also encouraging.
Life With a Personal God-Jami Kaeb
I have the amazing privilege of knowing Jami in real life. She has a passion to follow after the heart of Jesus. She has adopted internationally and through the Foster Care system and is now working on her second international adoption. She is incredibly real with what God is showing her.
The Zap Life-Aaron and Julie Zapata
I have so blessed to call Aaron and Julie friends. They haven't been on this Foster Care journey long but God has already taught them so much. So often I find my head nodding along as I read agreeing with everything they wrote.
One Thankful Mom-Lisa Qualls
I happened to stumble upon Lisa's blog one day and prayed a quick pray of thanks to God. Lisa is so very real. She shares her life and her family but is still great at respecting what needs to be private. She is an encouragement and blessing. I'm always thrilled to see you put up a blog post, even though I know that often her words will be hard to hear and ever so convicting.
The Forgotten Blog
The Forgotten Initiative was started locally by Jami Kaeb (see above) and has grown throughout the nation. This blog always has great "in the trenches" stories of the fostering community. It is motivating.
No Greater Joy Mom-Adeye
Wow! is about all I can say. Adeye and her husband (who blogs at No Greater Joy Dad) have opened their hope to some tough special needs kids. They have at least 4, but I believe the number may be greater. Since we are caring for a special needs child this blog is always a blessing to read. If you do NOT wanted to be convicted and moved about the turmoil and hardship of special needs children around the world then this is NOT the blog for you!
1. The blogger has to post pretty regularly.
2. They have to talk about foster care or adoption pretty regularly.
3. They have to be a blog that is both real, but also encouraging.
Life With a Personal God-Jami Kaeb
I have the amazing privilege of knowing Jami in real life. She has a passion to follow after the heart of Jesus. She has adopted internationally and through the Foster Care system and is now working on her second international adoption. She is incredibly real with what God is showing her.
The Zap Life-Aaron and Julie Zapata
I have so blessed to call Aaron and Julie friends. They haven't been on this Foster Care journey long but God has already taught them so much. So often I find my head nodding along as I read agreeing with everything they wrote.
One Thankful Mom-Lisa Qualls
I happened to stumble upon Lisa's blog one day and prayed a quick pray of thanks to God. Lisa is so very real. She shares her life and her family but is still great at respecting what needs to be private. She is an encouragement and blessing. I'm always thrilled to see you put up a blog post, even though I know that often her words will be hard to hear and ever so convicting.
The Forgotten Blog
The Forgotten Initiative was started locally by Jami Kaeb (see above) and has grown throughout the nation. This blog always has great "in the trenches" stories of the fostering community. It is motivating.
No Greater Joy Mom-Adeye
Wow! is about all I can say. Adeye and her husband (who blogs at No Greater Joy Dad) have opened their hope to some tough special needs kids. They have at least 4, but I believe the number may be greater. Since we are caring for a special needs child this blog is always a blessing to read. If you do NOT wanted to be convicted and moved about the turmoil and hardship of special needs children around the world then this is NOT the blog for you!
Do you have a foster or adoption blog that you just love to follow? Feel free to share in the comments section.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Orphan Sunday
Today was Orphan Sunday. A day in which churches across America (and possibly around the world) stop to specifically focus on the Orphan. We were blessed to be part of this at our local church. The elders prayed over us as we care for the Least of These. We were able to pick up "Challenge Cards" and decide some ways in which our family was going to support the Orphan or those caring for the orphan over this next year (and boy am I excited about what we get to do). And we at at the Orphan's Table. This is event in which we ate a meal that a typical orphan would eat (rice and beans and a piece of bread). We got to sit on the ground on cardboard. What an incredible way to show our kids what others experience on a daily bases and how blessed we are.
We also did one other thing. We watched one of the most heart wrenching, convicting Orphan videos I have ever see, Depraved Indifference by Eric Ludy. I wanted to share that video with you. Take some time to watch it and reflect on our position in this world.
We also did one other thing. We watched one of the most heart wrenching, convicting Orphan videos I have ever see, Depraved Indifference by Eric Ludy. I wanted to share that video with you. Take some time to watch it and reflect on our position in this world.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
You Can Help: Fundraising
The Orphan crisis is massive. While most numbers still range at 143 to 147 million orphans, UNICEF is now pushing numbers closer to 163 million. That means the number of orphans has risen by 20 million in 5 years (when I first began hearing these numbers). That is staggering. However, one by one something CAN be done. You can do it.
Often the reasons people give for not doing something is not being called to do it. I won't argue who is called and who is not called to adopt. However, I do argue that because orphans are God's heart, we as believers are called to take care of them. One way to do that is to fundraise. These funds can go to a family that's adopting, a family fostering, an orphanage (such as Eagle's Nest in Guatemala), an organization that helps orphans (such as Lifesong for Orphans), or an organization that helps families who are adopting to raise finances (such as Show Hope).
Garage Sale
Garage Sales are awesome ways to clear out the clutter in your house and raise money for the orphan. Take one week a year to dedicate to this. Hang a sign that tells where the proceeds are going (and the percentage that is going there--you don't want to trick people into thinking that 100% goes to families when you only plan on donating 50%). Often when people see that money is going to a good cause they are apt to buy more or give more. Ask friends and relatives to donate items they are no longer in need of to make the garage sale bigger and more profitable. Make sure you know about the organization/family that the funds are being given to and include pictures if possible.
Craft Sale
Do you craft items (jewelry, hair bows, scrap-booking pages)? Make them and sell them.
Facebook
Recently I've seen some very powerful fundraising done on Facebook. Set up a group and encourage people to donate. This is especially significant if you put a challenge behind it such as: It will take 18 months for this family to receive a referral so donate in 18's ($.18, $18, $180).
Host a Big Ticket Event
Host an event that is "big" and sell tickets to it. Some ideas include: Daddy/Daughter dance, Valentine's Couples Banquet, Dinner Theater. You will have to spend a bit of money to make this event possible. Rally friends around you to help keep cost low but value of the night high.
Make sure you always pray over an event and give God the glory for the success He has allowed you to have. Do your research before supporting a cause or organization. I know many families in the adoption/foster world who would be thrilled to hand over fundraising to a friend so they could concentrate on paperwork and home-studies. Check out more fundraising ideas here or here.
Often the reasons people give for not doing something is not being called to do it. I won't argue who is called and who is not called to adopt. However, I do argue that because orphans are God's heart, we as believers are called to take care of them. One way to do that is to fundraise. These funds can go to a family that's adopting, a family fostering, an orphanage (such as Eagle's Nest in Guatemala), an organization that helps orphans (such as Lifesong for Orphans), or an organization that helps families who are adopting to raise finances (such as Show Hope).
Garage Sale
Garage Sales are awesome ways to clear out the clutter in your house and raise money for the orphan. Take one week a year to dedicate to this. Hang a sign that tells where the proceeds are going (and the percentage that is going there--you don't want to trick people into thinking that 100% goes to families when you only plan on donating 50%). Often when people see that money is going to a good cause they are apt to buy more or give more. Ask friends and relatives to donate items they are no longer in need of to make the garage sale bigger and more profitable. Make sure you know about the organization/family that the funds are being given to and include pictures if possible.
Craft Sale
Do you craft items (jewelry, hair bows, scrap-booking pages)? Make them and sell them.
Recently I've seen some very powerful fundraising done on Facebook. Set up a group and encourage people to donate. This is especially significant if you put a challenge behind it such as: It will take 18 months for this family to receive a referral so donate in 18's ($.18, $18, $180).
Host a Big Ticket Event
Host an event that is "big" and sell tickets to it. Some ideas include: Daddy/Daughter dance, Valentine's Couples Banquet, Dinner Theater. You will have to spend a bit of money to make this event possible. Rally friends around you to help keep cost low but value of the night high.
Make sure you always pray over an event and give God the glory for the success He has allowed you to have. Do your research before supporting a cause or organization. I know many families in the adoption/foster world who would be thrilled to hand over fundraising to a friend so they could concentrate on paperwork and home-studies. Check out more fundraising ideas here or here.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Simple Faith
We use the word orphan all the time in our house all the time. The other day Addilece asked what an orphan was. I told her that an orphan is someone who doesn't have a mommy or a daddy.
My little girl pondered this for a few seconds and looked up at me and declared, "We have to take care of them mommy. They need a mommy and daddy."
Faith. It's so simple for a child. They don't see dollar signs, birth order issues, room issues, or any of the other "inconveniences" that throw us adults into a tizzy when we think about the orphan crisis. A child sees a need and declares we must fill it.
Jesus had a heart for the child. He understood that a child's simple faith is what was need to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.
I pray that we as adults step back and have the simple faith of child. The simple faith that says, "A child doesn't have a mommy and daddy. We are a mommy and daddy. We can be a mommy and daddy to that child." And let God do the rest.
My little girl pondered this for a few seconds and looked up at me and declared, "We have to take care of them mommy. They need a mommy and daddy."
Faith. It's so simple for a child. They don't see dollar signs, birth order issues, room issues, or any of the other "inconveniences" that throw us adults into a tizzy when we think about the orphan crisis. A child sees a need and declares we must fill it.
Jesus had a heart for the child. He understood that a child's simple faith is what was need to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.
I pray that we as adults step back and have the simple faith of child. The simple faith that says, "A child doesn't have a mommy and daddy. We are a mommy and daddy. We can be a mommy and daddy to that child." And let God do the rest.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Adoption Conference
The Connecting Hearts with the Forgotten Conference is just over a week away. This is its sixth year and it has gotten better every year. A conference run this well is not typically free. However, the board feels it is important to offer this information to families and individuals at no cost.
There is still time to register. If you live in Central Illinois you will not want to miss it. We will have Pastor Daniel Bennett (Pastor and author of A Passion for the Fatherless), Desi Stephens (former orphan, she also spent some time working at Dori's Promise-an orphanage in Guatemala), and one of my personal heroes in the adoption world Carolyn Tweitmeyer (adoptive mother and founder of Project Hopeful).
This conference is NOT just for those wanting to foster and adopt. It is for anyone that is any age who has a desire to see why God calls the church to care for Orphans. Come and be changed.
Check it out: http://www.connectingheartsconference.org/
Also their is a Connecting Hearts with the Forgotten Youth this year. If you are a teen and want to learn about your part in the orphan conference, this is for you!
There is still time to register. If you live in Central Illinois you will not want to miss it. We will have Pastor Daniel Bennett (Pastor and author of A Passion for the Fatherless), Desi Stephens (former orphan, she also spent some time working at Dori's Promise-an orphanage in Guatemala), and one of my personal heroes in the adoption world Carolyn Tweitmeyer (adoptive mother and founder of Project Hopeful).
This conference is NOT just for those wanting to foster and adopt. It is for anyone that is any age who has a desire to see why God calls the church to care for Orphans. Come and be changed.
Check it out: http://www.connectingheartsconference.org/
Also their is a Connecting Hearts with the Forgotten Youth this year. If you are a teen and want to learn about your part in the orphan conference, this is for you!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
You CAN Help: Become a CASA
I started a series on practical ways in which you CAN help and you CAN make a difference in the orphan crisis. I'm a firm believer that taking care of orphans is a mandate for the church, not a suggestion or a guideline. However, I believe many do not feel called to foster or adopt and are not sure what to do. In December we looked a having A Wise Christmas. Now I want to talk about being a CASA.
What is a CASA?
A CASA is a Court Appointed Special Advocate. CASA's are appointed to foster kids to be their advocate. They are there for the kids and the kids only (and will be the only person in that court room that is there for only the kids).
What does a CASA do?
A CASA will be given a court order that will allow them access to any information they want. There job is to talk to the many different people (teachers, birth parents, foster parents, doctors, counselors, etc) involved in these kids lives and figure out what is truly best for the children .
How much work is a CASA?
Being a CASA is not easy. They take one case at a time and those cases can take a year or two. Initially a CASA has meetings about once a week and as things settle and decisions are made it may only be once a month. It is a time commitment, but one I feel is well worth it!
How great is the need?
The goal of the courts is to have one CASA per case. However, there are just not enough to go around. In our county we have two supervisors with 30 CASA's per supervisor. Our judge determines which cases need a CASA most.
What do I need to become a CASA?
First you will need a heart that desperately loves these kids. You need a little bit of time and flexibility to your schedule. You'll have to do some pretty intense trainings (I believe its 40 hours worth), and on going training. You'll also need a little bit of thick skin. You are the advocate for the child and only the child, which means you may make others (birth parents and foster parents in particular) upset.
CASA's typically have a lot of say in the case (in our county the judge agreed with them 92% of the time). This is a way to make a BIG difference in the lives of children. You will be able to see things that no one else can see. I know a few CASA's and they are pretty incredible people! I know God has His hand on them as they wade through their cases. I pray that if we get a CASA they will be as incredible as those I know.
To learn more about being a CASA check out their website.
What is a CASA?
A CASA is a Court Appointed Special Advocate. CASA's are appointed to foster kids to be their advocate. They are there for the kids and the kids only (and will be the only person in that court room that is there for only the kids).
What does a CASA do?
A CASA will be given a court order that will allow them access to any information they want. There job is to talk to the many different people (teachers, birth parents, foster parents, doctors, counselors, etc) involved in these kids lives and figure out what is truly best for the children .
How much work is a CASA?
Being a CASA is not easy. They take one case at a time and those cases can take a year or two. Initially a CASA has meetings about once a week and as things settle and decisions are made it may only be once a month. It is a time commitment, but one I feel is well worth it!
How great is the need?
The goal of the courts is to have one CASA per case. However, there are just not enough to go around. In our county we have two supervisors with 30 CASA's per supervisor. Our judge determines which cases need a CASA most.
What do I need to become a CASA?
First you will need a heart that desperately loves these kids. You need a little bit of time and flexibility to your schedule. You'll have to do some pretty intense trainings (I believe its 40 hours worth), and on going training. You'll also need a little bit of thick skin. You are the advocate for the child and only the child, which means you may make others (birth parents and foster parents in particular) upset.
CASA's typically have a lot of say in the case (in our county the judge agreed with them 92% of the time). This is a way to make a BIG difference in the lives of children. You will be able to see things that no one else can see. I know a few CASA's and they are pretty incredible people! I know God has His hand on them as they wade through their cases. I pray that if we get a CASA they will be as incredible as those I know.
To learn more about being a CASA check out their website.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
UNICEF and International Adoption
Here is a bit more information about UNICEF and their push to close international adoptions. Unless stop they will succeed.
http://ethicsalarms.com/2010/12/08/unicefs-unethical-war-against-international-adoption
http://ethicsalarms.com/2010/12/08/unicefs-unethical-war-against-international-adoption
Monday, December 12, 2011
A Wiser Christmas Idea
I love teens who are passionate about serving God and loving on orphans....teens who GET IT. Suzanne's daughter Grace is one of them. Check out her blogpost about her tree with a purpose and some great Christmas ornament ideas.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
International Adoption and UNICEF
Will International Adoption be around forever? Possibly not. Read the article to find out more.
http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/red-thread-adoptive-family-forum/2011/aug/3/united-states-unicef-war-international-adoptions/#.Tt4c0BcHxgh.facebook
http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/red-thread-adoptive-family-forum/2011/aug/3/united-states-unicef-war-international-adoptions/#.Tt4c0BcHxgh.facebook
Friday, December 2, 2011
Check the post on Patti Lacy's blog today. I'm so privliaged know this Godly woman who just became a CASA:
http://www.pattilacy.com/blog/?p=2938
http://www.pattilacy.com/blog/?p=2938
Monday, November 28, 2011
You Can Help: A Wise Christmas
Christmas is the time of year when most of us spend the most money during the year. First watch the video about Advent Conspiracy.
This year consider changing a few of the gifts you purchase in order to have your money work for those in need also.
Gobena Coffee: Named after the 70 year old man who took care of their daughter, Gobena sells organic and fair trade coffee. 100% of their profits go to children in Ziway Ethiopia.
Orphaned NO More, 3,000 Bracelets: The name of this comes from how many bracelets it would take to bring their child home. Since this family brought Sophia home the baton has been passed. I can personally attest that these bracelets are beautiful as my sister-in-law gifted me one last year!
One Twenty Seven: Adorable hair bows. 100% of the proceeds to go Lifesong for Orphans. Again helping in Ziway Ethiopia.
TOMS: TOMS one for one campaign gives shoes to children in need. For each pair you buy, one pair is donated.
World Vision: The World Vision catalog provides you with items that you can give to others: animals, clean water, medical care. These gifts can be for US children or Orphans and Widows. Give this gift in honor of someone.
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