Tony and I recently celebrated our 1 year anniversary. Sometimes it is very hard to believe that our wedding was just one year ago. Its also really hard to believe that there was ever a time that we weren't married. Tony and I were talking about the wedding the other day while playing cards.
One clear thing that I remember about our wedding was the rain. It POURED the day we got married. I remember standing at my parent's front door thinking "well this kinda sucks." However, God taught me a lot through that rain. It rained ALL morning. However, every single time Tony or I had to walk outside it either slightly drizzled or completely stopped. It was really amazing. Seeing that Tony and I did not see each other until I walked down the isle I didn't even discover his side of it until later on.
Some people would see that rain as a curse to a wedding day. However, I was overwhelmed by the way God took care of us in such a small way. He stopped the rain at such perfect times. Many times it would start again as soon as entered the building we were going into. But He took the time to give us peace in that storm.
As Tony and I enter a new stage in our lives of parenting I am again reminded of that. Parenting at this point in our lives was not what we would of chosen. Financially it is about the worst choice we could make. Neither one of us really is ready for it career wise. But we know God chose this time for a reason and we know we must trust him with that.
The changes in our lives have definetly been stormy, especially for me. I have great fears of parenting. I fear what will happen to Tony and my relationship as he will have two jobs and school full time. I fear that I will struggle with loniless and frustration as I do most of this on my own, with no acess to the outside world (we only have one vehicle). I fear that I will not be able to get my child on a reasonable schedule before I begin class. We also have many stresses in our lives. I am working almost full time, doing an internship, and taking classes. With all that I feel like my body is physically shutting down on me. Tony is working two jobs and trying to still help out around that house. I have also seen this take a physical toll on him. We have dealt with looses in our families: Tony's grandmother passing away, and my dad loosing his job after 27+ years.
However, I have also been blessed to see God give me peace in the storms. Yesterday Tony kept singing a song that was on my MP3 player. I finally got it out for him to listen too. That led to a crazy afternoon of laughing, playing music and dancing. I haven't laughed that hard with my husband in so long. After this coming weekend I am going on travel restrictions. I am looking forward to using that as an excuse to just be able to stay home and relax. Tony's boss is an amazing person who has gone above and beyond and really allowed Tony and I too have a peace of mind. I thank God that he put Tony in a tough job, but one with a Christian boss who truely cares. We have also found peace in gifts that people have given us that have always come when we least expected but most need the boost.
I am overwelhmed that God constantly takes care of me, even when I think things just kinda suck right now. I will give an update on my pregancy soon. However, this was something God had laid on my heart to share!
