(Almost) Three years ago when Tony and I got married I told him I would not foster. I was passionate about orphans, I was getting a degree in helping distressed families in my community, and I knew I wanted to adopt someday. I told him I wasn't "called" to foster and it would be too rough on our own kids. The fact was I was scared and I wasn't willing to let God have that fear.
Slowly over these last few years I have let God in to my heart and my fear. He has brought into my life many wise families who have been an example and encouragement. They have been honest with their successes and struggles. Through that God has been breaking down my heart and replacing it with His. It has been a challenging process. Its not always easy to let God in and let Him have control.
Right now our church is focusing on the "Much" that God has given us and the "More" that He wants us to accomplish (Mt. 13:12). When I started this prayer journey with my church I knew God would do BIG things. First in our church and next in our family's life. The days where coming close to the time when the 40 days of prayer would be up but I felt like that big thing was still around the corner.
Little did I know that God had been working in mine and Tony's heart to the same purpose. (Although I shouldn't of been surprised.) Last week we decided to start pursing fostering with the intent of having children in our home after Addilece turns three. We are hoping to start the licensing process at the end of the summer. We feel this is just the beginning of the "More" God will entrust us with, not the end.
Scared? You better believe I'm scared. No child in this system or another country's system is easy. We don't know what God will bring through that door. We are just relying on the fact that this is what God has for us. We don't know any details about the types and number of children we will be okaying or even licensed for. We don't know if God will have them here for weeks, years, or forever. What we do know is that while God places them in our home we will try our best to show them a Savior who cares deeply about them.
I'm keeping a list of the millions of questions I have to run past other foster parents I know and ones I'm being put in contact with. We covet your ,and if your a foster/adoptive parent, your wisdom. This journey will probably be the most challenging one we have yet embarked on. We are humbled by what God is going to allow us to do for His kingdom.