Can I See the One?

I walked away from the school knowing that I should have offered the fellow PreK mom babysitting.  For a block I kept thinking I should turn around---but I didn't.  Then I spent the rest of my walking kicking myself and confessing to God.  I should have offered.....why???...no other reason then the Holy Spirit was prompting me too.

Obedience to the one is something God has been teaching me lately.  This is something Katie Davis writes in her book, Kisses from Katie.  She talks about the feeling that serving in Uganda was like trying to refill an ocean with a water dropper.  God didn't call her to change Uganda.  Instead He called her to serve the one right in front in her.  By changing that one's life, Uganda would change. 

I have been praying that God would open my eyes to the needs right in front of me and that I would be faithful to fill it.  However, I feel like I keep missing that one.  It's so much easier to look at the bigger picture, or to be so focus at the life in front of me that I miss those in front of me. 

I need to be faithful to the elderly woman who is lonely and just needs to chat for a while, even though I really just want to go home.  I need to be faithful to the mom who is overwhelmed and needs the door held open for her, even though I have four kids of my own to wrangle.  I need to be faithful to the neighbor who rarely talks to us due to three little bi-racial kids running in our yard, but now is willing to have a conversation.  I need to be faithful to the child who needs 5 minutes of Mommy time, even though my list of chores to do is huge.

It's easier to look for ways to save the world.  It's easier to sit in the statics and shake my head at The Church for their lack of action to what God has clearly called them to in the Bible.  It's easier to say I've done enough, look at the three children in my home that I'm caring for. 

However, God has asked me to let him worry about that.  He is the world savior.  He is the head of the church.  And He has placed these children into my home.  He has called me to neither heroics or cowardice.  Instead He has called me to faithfulness.  Faithful to the one He places in front of me each day.

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day.  A day where mom's around this country will be honored.  I, however, would rather just skip it. 

My kiddos are off for a visit today, an extra long visit.  They will spend Mother's Day with their mom.  They will give her the flower we pick out and re-potted.  They will dote her with home made cards that we worked on yesterday.  And they will excitedly hand her the presents they made at school.

Today I am the "other woman".  Well, I'm often the other woman, but today I feel it. 

I'm by no means opposed to Mother's Day in general.  I think it's wonderful to honor moms.  But I would rather not go through the motions that take place around this official holiday.  Tony and the kids made me breakfast in bed last weekend and that is more then enough "honor" for me.  I felt appreciated and special, which is the point of today. 

However, I will walk through the church doors with a million happy mother's day.  It will be celebrated in one way or another at our church, when we run errands, etc.  All of that is wonderful. 

But for ME.

TODAY.

I wish it would be just another Sunday. 

On the other hand I am thrilled for the kids bio-mom.  Not many parents in the system actually get to spend the day with their kiddos on Mother's or Father's day.  Looking at it from a mom who is NOT spending time with my kiddos I understand how devastating that would be.  She IS their mother, and that will never change. I had my kiddos yesterday, I will have them again tomorrow.  I had them for a short time this morning and will have them for a short time tonight.  She gets a few hours today to just be mom...only a few.  But I'm glad she gets them.

The reality is that one of us will probably not have these kids to celebrate Mother's Day with next year.  They will either be "home" or they will be headed for adoption.  That in and of its self is heart wrenching.  However, today God has given us a Mother's Day to share.  While that is not ideal for either of us, we do have this tremendous blessing of both knowing and being Mommy to these three incredible kids. 

And today I will hold one beautiful little girl in my arms and rejoice in the gift God has given me to forever and always be her mommy!  She is so excited that it is Mother's Day.  She truly makes my heart sing.

April and May Goals

 

APRIL GOALS:
SELF:
*Complete 4 week of the C to 5K. (3 weeks completed, week 4 started)
*Finish 50% of The Out of Sync Child (I also started Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis and Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxendia
*Complete 100% of the "Save My Sanity" 21 step project. (72% complete)
*Complete 75% of Spring Cleaning. (59% complete)

MINISTRY:
*Plan our Award nights and Banquet for Awana.

FOSTER CARE:
*Finish court reports and turn them in.

KIDS:
*Complete and turn in Little Man's paper work for his ADOFF. (ALMOST....planning to finish TODAY)

TONY & I:
*Spend two nights a month on an in home date.
*Spend one night a month on an out of home date.
*Write Tony a love note once a month.
*Sit down once a month to re-evaluate schedules and cut what needs to be cut, add what needs to be added.

FINANCES:
*Pay off a set amount of debt. (52% completed)
*Save 17% for an anniversary trip (75% total). (100% complete....YAH!!)

MAY GOALS:
SELF:
*Complete weeks 4 through 8 of the Couch to 5K program.
*Read 75% of the Out-of Sync Child
*Read 100% of Kisses from Katie
*Complete "Save My Sanity" 21 steps
*Complete Spring Cleaning 21 steps

MINISTRY:
*Begin the process of discussing "emergency" kits.

FOSTER CARE:
*Finish court reports.
*Finish paper work for Little Man.
*Finish and mail paper work for Big Brother.

TONY & I:
*Spend two nights on an in home date.
*Spend one night on an out of home date.
*Write a love note to Tony
*Sit down once a month to re-evaluate schedules and cut what needs to be cut, add what needs to be added.

FINANCES:
*Pay off a set amount of debt.
*Begin X-Box and dryer fund (two things that will most likely break by the end of the year).

What Foster Parents Need to Hear

A few weeks ago this article floated around Facebook.  The information in the article is incredible.  It really IS what every Foster Parent wants you to know. However, the way it's presented is a bit harsh, so please be aware of that.  Don't let it turn you off to what is really said at the core of the article. 

My sis-in-law read it and asked what she could say instead.  Her comment was she would just not say anything if she didn't know what to say.  That was interesting to me.  One of the things that is so tough on Tony and I is when we feel like people are avoid a conversation about our kids.  We have people we see on a regular bases who don't even acknowledge our kids exists and it is heart breaking.  Because of this I wanted to give you five things you CAN say to a Foster Parent.  If you are a foster/adoptive parent and you want to add of change any of these, feel free to add a comment.

1. I'm praying for you!  We as Foster Parents desperately need prayer.  Please, pray for us.  And if you already are, let us know.  It is a huge encouragement and blessing to us. 

2. Ask about each one of my children, individually. We have FOUR kids, not three foster kids and one biological kid.  Please remember that.  When our kiddos first came to live with us everyone wanted to meet them and very few even acknowledged that Addilece existed.  We have some people who want to ask or talk to just our fosters and others who want to ask or talk to just Addilece.  Each of our kids are ours and each need people to love them and invest in them.  AND each is very different from the other three.

3. How are you doing?  We live in a society that asks that question but doesn't want to hear the answer.  If you ask us, be ready to listen to honest emotions and feelings that come out of our mouths.  Sometimes we just need to talk.

4. How can I help you? Recently a Pastor took 2 minutes to help me get all my bags and kids into the church.  It was great.  We often run around with our heads cut off.  Sometimes an extra set of hands makes a world of difference.

5. Is there anything you need?  Foster Parents often needs something, usually babysitting.  Taking time to list to what they need and then finding a way to help can re leave a lot of stress.  Even if we don't need something at the time it helps us know that you care enough to listen and offer.

Goals

 

We have quit a few crazy week.  It was better to just forget about any goals.

SELF:
*Complete week 3 and start week 4 of the Couch to 5K program.
*Write a "Getting Real" blog post.

MINISTRY:
*Work on Awana for at least 3 hours.

FOSTER CARE:
*Spend 10 minutes a night filling out behavior journal.

KIDS:
*Do 3 fine motor activities with Addilece.
*Do 3 school activities with the 3 year olds.
*Spend an hour doing specific sensory activities.

TONY & I:
*Read the Bible together 4 nights a week.
*Ask Tony what he wants done and do it..


FINANCES:
*Have a financial meeting.