Happy 5th Birthday Sweet Pea

Dear Sweet Pea,

You are FIVE today!  How in the world are you five?  One whole hand, or a "Hand Full" as you would say.  Of course, while you are five numerically, you speak like your thirty.  You say things so straight and serious that people can't help to laugh.

In a couple of weeks you will be starting Kindergarten.  I'm not sure how we go to this point.  You are so ready.  You are ready to spread your wings and go make lots and lots of friends.  School can be hard though, it can destroy a person self esteem.  So I want you to remember something....you are one amazing little girl.

You have a deep love for people and have a way of forming amazing relationships with people.  Use that gift to tell others about Christ. Use it to love on people in a deep and personal way.

You are the most forgiving person I know.  You don't hold grudges.  You don't keep lists.  It teaches me and humbles me everyday.

Recently you started noticing so many things outside of yourself, it makes you so grown up.  I came down for a date for Daddy and you looked at me and declared, "You look really nice Mom."  You growing up is bittersweet.  I will miss the little you but I look forward to the relationship I hope we have in the future.  I look forward to watching you grow into a woman and go off on your own adventures.

I know your Daddy and I have asked you to be part of life that you probably would not have choosen yourself.  I want you to know that we don't expect you to follow in our footsteps.  However, we hope that one day you will understand why we choose this path, why God called us to it.  We pray that you would find the path God would call you too and you would follow it with your whole heart.

We love you sweet girl!  We hope your fifth birthday is an incredible day and your fifth year is full of amazing memories! 

Love, Mom

Baseball Season

We recently finished up our first season of sports with our kids.  I've always wanted to do a Getting Real on our views of sports, but this is not that post.  Maybe someday soon I will do that.

Sweet Pea up at bat.

Big Brother and Sweet Pea played t-ball this year.  Yes, the one base, no outs type of t-ball.  It was absolutely the perfect introduction for our family into sports.  The kids had a great coach who worked hard with them.  They were on the same team, which was also fun.  The practices took place right before the games and the games were only on Saturday.  For a busy family, this was a great way to work around our schedule.

Big Brother up at bat.

Sweet Pea in particular got a lot better through out the season.  We've also seen improvement


in Big Brother.  Next year it will be a bit more competitive for him, but it was good to have a year of the basics.

Thankful for these four ant their commitment to attend games.  By the end of the season all six grandparents where able to make it to at least one game.

We are excited to possibly have all four playing next year, although we are assuming Little Man will do so with assistance from us. 

Getting Real: Questioning a Diagnosis

It has been just over a year since we received the official diagnosis that Little Man had Autism.  It came with relief, answers, and help.  However, in the last year I have found myself living in a lot of doubt.

Autism.  It's a pretty hot topic.  As of now there is only speculation to the cause and "cure" of Autism.  A debate that I am not willing to engage in.  The process to diagnose it can be tedious or simple.  We went the tedious route.  We had phone interviews, a questionnaire (300 pages long), documents from the school, developmental reports, a developmental screening done by a team of experts, and an appointment with the specialist who made the official diagnosis.  It was not done lightly.

At first all of this offered reassurance that yes the diagnosis was right.  However, as time has gone one I have spent hours wondering if something went wrong.  I feel like I'm staninding with a wall of evidence behind me but doubt makes me unable to stand on it's assuances.

Tony and I have sat in a room where we have had multiple professionals say things like, "well, I'm not sure what you told them but..." or "we don't see that here, he's NOT doing that" or "we know a lot of kids have been misdiagnosed."  The "I'm not sure how he got this disagnosis" tends to sting.

As Tony and I dealt with a new situation in which Little Man was not coping well, Tony looked at me and said, "This is how I know it wasn't wrong."  The evidence is there, the behaviors are there.  However, as a mom living in a world that wants to debate my child's disability more then it wants to help my child with his disability it can seem very lonely.