Getting Real: Worn

I woke up this morning tired, wishing I had read that alarm clock wrong.  After a relaxing Spring Break and fabulous Sunday with Daddy and some beautiful spring weather, the week had started out horrible.  We were going through life normally till I made a dreaded, torturous request: fold your laundry and put it away. 

This request was not new and the expectations were not high.  Simply make an attempt to "fold" your clothing and get it in the right draw.  We do it about once a week for the last 2 months.  However, I had not one but TWO children decide that this was NOT going to happen.  24 hours later one of those children finally finished.  The other.....zero progress (besides the socks and undies that I had dealt with).  In fact they had spent much of that time yelling, hitting, and out right defying. 

I was past my limit.  The night before had proved that.  After joining in a screaming match with this child I grabbed the chips Tony had bought for himself at the store and sat on the floor bawling  The child went to bed early, with no more progress made. 

After a long morning I was thankful to leave three of the kiddos behind at school and get time to breathe.  I pulled into the driveway to hear Worn by Tenth Avenue North.  This song has been the cry of my heart for this child since Christmas 2012.  I can't heal their broken and hurting heart.  I can't fix them, as much as I want to.  I can't make they accept, love, let go.  I can't replace the rejection.

But I serve a God who can.  I serve God!  And I rest in that.  Because their is nothing else I can rest in.  And as I sat trying to hold back tears for Sweet Pea's sake, I soaked in those words again, crying out for this child, for our relationship.  The God who redeems, who heals, who answers prayer, loves this child more then I ever could.

    My prayers are wearing thin
Yeah, I’m worn
Even before the day begins
Yeah, I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
So, heaven come and flood my eyes
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn