The Wait

The wait.....it's something talked about around all adoption circles and I'm sure many other circles.  It is something that has recently hit me in the face, full force.  I did the math the other day and realized that if we were going with our original plan to space our children 2 years apart then I should be pregnant right now.  That was sorta like a wow moment.  It hit me then.  At the same time it hit me as I watch Little Miss, not toddle or teeter, but run around the room.  I watch her climb on furniture with ease, I listen to her communicate better and better daily, I watch her become so girly and so grown up.  She's getting older, quickly.  

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All this made me realize that now we are officially, waiting.  Waiting on God's timing, waiting on His answers, waiting on His direction.  Addilece has a book by Dr. Seuss that is called "Oh the Places You Will Go."  And it talks about you will go here and there but sometimes you will get stuck just waiting.....waiting for this and for that and the waiting is not so fun.  That's how I feel....just waiting. 

With our wait just beginning I realize its a whole long way from ending.  See as of now we are planning on adopting from the Philippines.  You must be 27 to adopt from that country.  So we wait until we are 27 before we can begin the process. Most adoptions take at least a year and sometimes 2 or more.  Now do the math......Addilece could be 8 or older.  Wow. 

So last night I was telling my wonderful hubby (who lets me cry and vent and repeat myself 10 million times) how much I was already hating the wait.  And we were discussing the changes that could take place in over six years in our families......the number of marriages (at least 2....that we officially know of now) and grandchildren being born (at least one is on the way).  Thinking of our immediate family is easy....extending that is when my heart strings start to really pull. 

And my amazing and wise husband (whom I'm very thankful God picked to lead this particular family) starting talking about Joseph.  At first I wanted to shrug him off....Joseph has been a constant reminder to us through this whole process and frankly sometimes its way to convicting for me to dwell on.  But Tony wouldn't let me and he started talking about how Joseph had his dream and then how he waited, and waited, and waited for it to be fulfilled.  

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So I got to thinking.....how many years DID Joseph wait.  When Joseph had his dream  he was 17 years old and when it was fulfilled he was 38.  Joseph waited 21 years to see God give him that dream.  Through the pit, being a slave, being wrongly accused, imprisonment, forgotten, and good times of plenty and leadership he held on to that dream....trusting God.  His trust in God and reliance on Him granted him his positions.....but it took a long, long time for that dream to be fulfilled.  And what changed in 21 years......at least one brother was married and had three children and two grandchildren (Judah), another brother was born (Benjamin), his mother died, he got married and had two children of his own, and I'm sure that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Knowing Joseph's story and his extremely long wait doesn't make mine seem any shorter but it does give me the strength to choose to give this day of the wait to God and to praise Him (even in the storm).  Tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next I will have to make that same choice.  Some days I will fail, some days I will stumble....but I serve a God who is faithful and I have a husband who is wise.....and one day that wait will end......one day.