There is Nothing Else

I don't know what it's like to feel so hurt that I try to hurt others.  

I don't know what it's like to go into a panic attack and lie as a defense mechanism when simple asked, "What are you doing?".  

I don't know what it's like to feel ugly and rejected by those I desire to
see me as beautiful and worth wild.  

I don't know what it's like to do everything in my power to bury my feelings as far as they can go and do everything in my power to forget that they are there.  

I don't know what's like to fake love and affection so that someone will think I am "sweet".

I do know what it's like to stare that sort of pain in the face every day.  

I do know what it's like to realize that I can tell someone that they are precious, but it's not going to make a difference.

I do know what it's like to mutter, "God I don't know how to handle this." continually (as in every moment) through out my day.

I do know what it's like to stand helplessly by as a child's heart breaks into a million pieces over and over and over again.

I pray that God, redeemer of all, works in big ways top change lives.

I pray that God, healer, reaches deep into hearts.

I pray that the God of miracles

would make his presence ever known.

I pray that peace would settle into this home.

I pray that truth would always be spoken, and little ears would be receptive.

I pray.....because I don't know what else to do.