Tony took over and sent me off to go spend some time with God. I just sat there shaking my head, asking God WHY? Why wasn't the time I had spent with them enough? I had tried so hard to connect this time. How could someone so angry, be so hurt? How could people do this to a little child? Why can't my love reach deep enough to heal? Why after such a great week were we back at square one? Would this child ever heal?
The truth is I could of spent every minute with this child since they had gotten home from their visit the night before and this melt down would of still happened. Their hurt runs so much deeper then our love and reassurance that we could give.
God met me in a big way in my quiet time. I was reading Psalm 29 and it talks about the power of God's voice. Seven verses of nothing but describing the awesome power of when God speaks. I kept whispering "Please let me hear your voice today. I need to hear your voice today." Then in verses 10 and 11 it says this:
The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;
the Lord is enthroned as King forever.
the Lord is enthroned as King forever.
The Lord gives strength to his people;
the Lord blesses his people with peace.
the Lord blesses his people with peace.
Strength. Peace.
God's mighty voice brings.....peace and fills us with strength. I just sat there quietly, in awe for my God.
And God met me in a big way that day. My little thing calmed down quicker then they ever have on a "bad day" and became real again. They sat on my lap telling me with real and honest words what was wrong (through genuine tears no less), and they did it before they got in trouble again.
AND I found out something neat about them...they like Twix. For six months we have been trying to break through walls with this child to figure out who they are. The manipulation and ability to be a chameleon have made the real them almost non-existent. But now they have a candy that is all their own. It brings such a smile to my face.
The God whose voice thunders over the waters, strikes lighting, twists oaks spoke strength and peace into my life in a very real and tangible way.
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