Slow Down

I'm a daydreamer.  I have always been one to imagine what life will be like when such and such happens.  Sometimes it makes me miss what is in the present.  Not everything with the hysterectomy has been negative.  We have gotten to see some true blessings out of it.  The biggest one being that we will get to experience the miracle of adoption in a way we had never planned ourselves.  Another blessing has been the "slowing down". 

We were hoping to naturally space our children about 2 years apart.  With that timing I would probably be pregnant right now.  That of course would get my dreaming to an all time high, which (like I said) sometimes makes me miss things. 

We feel like we are being called to sibling sets and not newborns.  Even though our application will say "0 to whatever" we don't expect to ever have a newborn in our house again.  We don't feel like God has asked us to pursue that, if he drops it in our laps that's different.  With that we have felt like the firsts we have been able to experience w/ Addilece (crawling, talking, walking, laugh, birthday, etc) will be the only time we have experience them. 

Many times as I go through my day spending time with my family I feel this nudge (the Holy Spirit) saying "slow down, don't miss this".  I feel like I'm being told to take a minute and take in the things around me.  I need to stop and notice whatever adorably cute thing my daughter and usually her Daddy are doing.  I store it away in my brain.  I might never see some of these cute moments again.

What a blessing it has been to be forced to slow down and soak it all up.  I have been able to enjoy my Sweetie Pea for who she is...

Here is one of my slow down moments that I was able to catch on video.

Sorry the video quality is poor......we only have a camera to take videos with and it was pretty dark outside already.  Maybe one day we will have something nicer, but it is good enough to capture the pictures I would like to capture on it.

Do Princesses.........?

One of our favorite books is Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots?  You can read a little more about it here.  We feel that this book describes Addilece in her own little way.  She has got such a deep, deep girly side.  You see that when you see her get a bow in her hair or when her Daddy tells her how cute she looks.  But she has this rough and tumble side that is so not Princessy.....but it is what makes her, her.  We wouldn't change it for the world.....

So............

Do Princesses......

.........play with sticks???

Well, this princess does.

Just Hard

Some days are just plain hard, tough, tiring.  There are times that I say "God, I just don't want to do today."  On those days I would rather curl up in bed and read and sleep.  They aren't days where I want to deal w/ my little mess maker (her messes seem to be quit a bit bigger on those days) or be patient with my hubby.  They are days were I really don't want to reread the book for the dozenth time or reload the dishwasher.  They are the days where cooking seems overwhelming and playing outside even more overwhelming.  But those things HAVE to be done. 

I am learning to cry out God on the just plain hard days.  I'm learning to be completely honest w/ him and tell him that I don't want to do today.  I think he's a big enough God to handle my honest....he knows my heart anyway.  However, then I know I have to tell him "God, I have to do today, I know that....so help me do it through you."  Before this crazy stage in my life of having a toddler and facing other obstacles I don't think I ever did that.  I let the grumpiness and fatigue take over and I didn't care.  I let it control me. 

It is rather humbling to admit to God that I can't do what I should be doing as a wife and a mommy.  Its humbling to have to rely completely and totally on him.  But I need that, we all need that.  Humbleness draws us closer to him.  It makes me walking with my hand tightly clutching his.  It makes me rely on him to guide me on the next step. 

I'm sure most people think that the everyday shouldn't be hard, but for me some days just are.  I can't change that or fix it.  I can however, change how I go through those days.  Don't get me wrong, I still struggle even with turning things over to God.  My patience is still rather thin and those dishes don't look anymore appealing.  But I can see how God turns my spirit to calm.  He gives me a little burst of energy to read that book one more time without going over the edge.  He does it, not me.  All of me wants to go curl up and sleep till the next day comes and maybe, just maybe that shelf is clean and Little Miss doesn't want to make quit so many messes.  I can feel God though.  I can feel him in me and through me making me take a deep breath and keep going.  He makes me remember who and why I do what I do.

Its not been an easy process but its a necessary one.  I must keep going and I must do it with diligence. 

...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Hebrews 12:1-2

Top 10 Favorite Bed Time Stories on Our Shelf

NUMBER 9:

Just Me and _________ Books by Mercer Mayer

We got a collection of these for Christmas (thanks Nana and Papa) and love them.  I think they are much more humorous as an adult then they ever where as a kid.  You are constantly thinking "I would kill my child".  It is not a book you can read without enjoying the pictures also.  We did get Just Me and the Bully from the library and were not huge fans.

NUMBER 10:

Gallop a Scanimation Picture Book by Rufus Butler Seder

What can I say other then......THE PICTURES MOVE!  How cool is that?  Addilece received this book from my friend Ruthie for her birthday, who is a teacher.  Before present opening time she pulled me aside and showed me the book.  I was like: THEY MOVE.  I have never seen that in a book before (besides pull taps).  She said the teacher in her couldn't pass it up.  When we opened presents Tony got excited about it, but nobody else understood why.  It was fun to see their reaction as the book went around.  I just discover it has two sister books.  I think I found my new favorite gift.

Two is Better Then One

Sweet Pea was swaddled up until she was about six months old.  At the time I thought she would never, not be swaddled.  However, finally we were able to "break" her of it.  Within a month Tony and I realized that she was going to form a blanket attachment.  So we were very purposeful with the blanket we had her sleep with.  Her "blanket" was one given to her by her Aunt Brittney.  It is soft and cuddly, thick and sturdy; which is why we chose it. 

While in the Dells for a weekend getaway in May we forgot Sweet Pea's blanket.  At this time she wasn't so attached to it that it was the end of the world.  However, in a resort there aren't many baby blankets.  We went to the store and picked up a nice, but not as nice blanket.  It was similar in softness and size to our pink and brown friend, but that was it.  It became our back up blanket b/c it was the only thing close to what she had. 

With in the last two months we have noticed the attachment to her blanket getting stronger, but it was still mainly used for sleeping.  That all changed this past week while she was sick with a nasty cold.  Because of needing to be washed we had both blankets around the house for Sweet Pea to get (one is normally laying over the back of the rocking chair).  While sick she would switch from one to the other.  However, one day she found out that she could have both blankets at once for double the cuddle.  And that's when she decided two are much better then one.



The back up on the left and Aunt Brittney's blanket under her head.  She has a death grip on both.



So now with in two weeks we have formed a super strong attachment to both blankets.  The poor little thing will host a blanket over each shoulder and drag it around the house.  She will leave mommy and daddy to go find one if it is missing.  Also, we are now sleeping with both.  Oh goodness, I love life with my crazy toddler.  I hope they both magically stay clean now.

Hauling our blankets around the house.  Maybe we should come up w/ names for each to distinguish them.

New Addition

I'm an one excited Aunt and this is why.....

Isn't she just beautiful.  She is Julianna Grace, the newest addition to our family.  She has two increadible parents: my sister, Brittney, and brother-in-law, Jason.  She also has one amazing big brother: Josiah.  I won't get to meet this cutie for two or three more weeks but I'm already head over heals for her.

Top 10 Favorite Bed Time Stories On Our Shelf

NUMBER 7:

The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round

I can't do these post with out including Addilece's current obsession.  We read/sing this book over and over again.  I think that she likes that its a song with in the book.  She wants it read over and over again.  So, here's my confession.  Sometimes (after about the 5th time through) I pull the song up on youtube rather then reading/singing it to her again.  A momma can only take so much.

NUMBER 8:

The Foot Book by Dr. Seuss

I love this book because I loved it as a kid.  I'm a sucker for the way Dr. Seuss makes his books flow.  On top of it the illustrations are great.  Addilece now knows to sit if she wants to get her shoes on (which she usually does b/c it means she going some place) and I will often quote this book to her.

Top 10 Favorite Bed Time Stories On Our Shelf

NUMBER 5:

Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?  By Dr. Seuss

This book is FULL of fun sounds that let kids imaginations go crazy.  It is fun as a parent to immitate each sound.  And like most classic Dr. Seuss books you get quit a mixture of craziness involved.  My favorite sound is a fish kiss: pip. 

NUMBER 6:

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

I actually find that there is nothing increadible about the words to the book.  However, the way the book flows and sooths it what draws me in.  It is a great book to calm a child down with.  Addilece loves the contrast as a pictures go from vivid greens and reds to black and white.  This is an all over bed-time classic

Wisdom from Those Who Have Been There

While browsing some of my favorite blogs I can across a post from Jessica at Life As A Mom .  She has dealt with her own season of infertility after the birth of her first child.  She is now a mom of six.  I love reading her posts that deal with the practical side of the everyday life of a mom.  Here was some advice she gave to others who have friends dealing with infertility and loss:

1. Realize you can’t make it better.


As much as we want to heal our friend, bring back the heartbeat, change the diagnosis, we can’t. Only God really knows the whys and wherefores. And nothing we can do or say will change the harsh reality that a baby has been lost.
2. Listen.

It really helped me to be able to tell my story. I’m thankful for the girlfriends who didn’t mind hearing the gory details. They listened as I processed. They asked questions. They tried to make sense along with me of this wild experience that women have walked through together for eons.
3. Provide practical help.

Whether it is physical incapacity or mental strain, it can be hard to focus on household chores and meals when one is mourning the loss of a baby. Offer to bring a meal, either homemade or a take-out pizza or their favorite Chinese. Something as simple as organizing the freezer so mom and the family knows what’s available can be a great help. Offer to do laundry, watch kids, just hang out.

No, these things aren’t going to make it better. But, they do help ease the journey.
4. Watch your words.

Ouch. That one stings, doesn’t it? I am probably not the one to give advice in this department because I am constantly putting my foot in my mouth. On the other hand, I did hear some of the wildest things during my miscarriages that the speakers probably never intended to hurt me.

• There was probably something wrong with the baby.
• Well, you can’t afford a baby right now, anyway.
• It’s better this way.

These aren’t always the most helpful of words. I would have taken those babies in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer.

Less is more in many instances. And sometime a shoulder to cry on is more valuable than a well-meaning platitude. But don’t be afraid to reach out. Just do it wisely and slowly.
Try to communicate:

• I love you.
• I’m sad with you.
• I want to walk through this with you.

I don’t think there is a “right way” to console a grieving friend.You know your friend better than I do. But, as I look over the years, I realize these are the things that helped ease the pain a little bit.
God has done the rest.
Whether it is physical incapacity or mental strain, it can be hard to focus on household chores and meals when one is mourning the loss of a baby. Offer to bring a meal, either homemade or a take-out pizza or their favorite Chinese. Something as simple as organizing the freezer so mom and the family knows what’s available can be a great help. Offer to do laundry, watch kids, just hang out.
No, these things aren’t going to make it better. But, they do help ease the journey.

Top 10 Favorite Bed Time Stories On Our Shelf

NUMBER 3:

Barnyard Dance by Sandra Boynton

Barnyard Dance is more like a song then a story.  These funny animals sure know how to have a good time at a hoe down.  While the pictures aren't my favorite the beat of the book keeps you going.  It's not a read once type of book.

NUMBER 4:

Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots? by Carmela LaVigna Coyle

This was a gift from Nana and Papa for Addilece's first birthday and immediately became a house favorite for both mommy and daddy.  Boy do they have the girl nailed.  This is about a little girl who wants so badly to be a princess but also loves to be a rough and tumble little thing.  I love the way the book confirms that the little girl is special because of who she is.  The very end tells the child listening that they are special for who they are also. 

Top 10 Favorite Bed Time Stories On Our Shelf

We love to read in this house.  In fact bedtime is one of our favorite times.  We get to sit down w/ our Little Miss and read her the Bible, read her a story, sing a song, and say a prayer.  We love spending that 15 minutes together as a family just enjoying each other.  Addilece has an amazing collection of books on her shelf and all are so amazing.  However there are a few that just push themselves up over the others a bit

NUMBER 1:

Olivia by: Ian Falconer

Olivia is a rambunctious little pig who continually finds herself in trouble.  She is full of spirit and spunk.  The illustrations of this book keep you laughing.  Every parent can relate to the trials Olivia puts her parents through. Falconer has several books in his serious.  While all are amazing, the original Olivia remains my favorite of the group.

NUMBER 2:

A Fly Went By by Mike McClintock

This is Tony's FAVORITE book to read to Addilece.  Each thing is being chased by the thing behind it.  The thing behind it is not actually chasing it but being chased by the thing behind it.  Is the man with the gun the "one in back of it all"?  Or is it something completely different.  One brave little boy gets down the root of the confusion.  We love the fast pace, flowing sentences of this book.  It is a fun way to open up a child's imagination of what may be causing that thumping and bumping.