Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Q and A: Adoption

The talk of adoption comes up a lot with Foster Care.  When I have a friend who brings a new child into their home I find myself wondering about the "a" word.  Here are the two most common questions we get along those lines.

Are they adoptable?
Sometimes Foster Parents can give a pretty definite "yes" or "no" on this subject.  We were able to with Our Guy.  Most times Foster Parents have no clue if their kids will be adoptable.  Plans for the family usually take over a month to formulate (at least where we live) and from there it is based on what our parents do and a whole lot of people who don't work with your kids directly.  It's rather scary, actually.  Foster Parents are pretty far removed from the decision.  In front of them are the Caseworker, the GAL (kids' attorney), the State's Attorney, and ultimately the Judge.

We are at a point in our case in which we think we know which way we will go.  We are not sharing what we think it is favoring at this time because it might not go that way or it might drag on for a LONG time.  Most kids are in the system for over a year.  Our kids are just about to hit 8 months.

The short answer is we don't know.  And we won't know until a Petition to Terminate is filed and accepted or the kids start the return home processes.  We live by court dates and decisions.

Will you adopt them?
For Tony and myself there is only one answer to this question, there has always been one answer.  After much talking, reading, counsel, and above all else-prayer, we came to the conclusion that when a child enters our home they stay here as long as the State allows.  We have lots of reasons behind that (and it would be a blog post in itself), but more then anything this is where we feel God has led us.  And when we pray about saying yes to children we do it with this in mind.

That being said, not every family has been led down that path.  Some families are strictly adoption (children who are legally free, infant or private adoptions, or international).  Other families are foster to adopt (children are not legally free but that is the path they are headed down).  And some families are just foster families (if a child is available for adoption then they are placed with an adoptive family).  Still others float between these based on the child(ren).  No decision is right or wrong, as long as each one is taken before the Lord.

So the short answer to this is, yes we will adopt if it comes to that.  The thing that actually surprises us is how many people are surprised by that.  We do desire to grow our family and we do feel God has chosen (at this time) to do it through Foster Care.  However, above all else we want these children in the home God desires for them.  

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