Thursday, January 23, 2014

Getting Real: Derailed


de·rail  (d-rl)intr. & tr.v. de·railed, de·rail·ing, de·rails
     1. To run or cause to run off the rails.
So many times in this journey of foster care I have watched as our family gets derailed.  We think things are going well, we are meshing as a family, starting to enjoy life.  Then suddenly we derail.

I've got this parenting thing down.  We are having a good day.  I look up to see my child has broken that same boundary, again.  And my patience is done.
Derailed.
Sweet Pea is playing and laughing with her siblings.  Suddenly, she crawls into my lap and asks when they are going to go back "home".
Derailed.
One of my kiddos is eating lunch.  Suddenly, they turn and smack their sibling.  They declare they don't like living here.  They want their birth mom.
Derailed
Little Man's communication is up, he's having a great morning.  Then he goes to school and his teacher is unexpectedly gone.  Now he can't handle life.  Melt downs begin.
Derailed.
Tony goes through each day trying to hold it together through full time work and school.  Then I call him to let him know that the kids broke something new.  More of his precious time will be taken up by fixing that toilet for the third time.
Derailed.
One of my kiddos is not happy that they got "caught" being mean to a sibling.  They wait until I'm pumping gas then turn and pull that siblings hat off their head.  Melt downs and fights ensue.
Derailed.

I think I've gotten a good parenting style down.  But Tony hasn't read the book like I have.

Derailed.

I've learned I have two choices when life derails.  I can handle this situation on my own terms, letting it overwhelm me, giving harsh responses.  Or I can handle it on God's terms with Grace and compassion.

Unfortunately, most of time I try to handle it on my own.  How thankful I am that God handles me on his terms and not my own.

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