It makes you feel lonely. You are defending your parenting to everyone you come across. Some think your kids are horrible and you should be harder on them. Others think your kids are the best thing since sliced cake and when you give them a glimpse into reality (ie temper tantrums, rages, manipulations) they think it's all your problem.
In foster care you are dealing with caseworkers and their bosses, CASA's, GAL, States Attorney, transporters. Each has their own opinion of how you should be doing things. Kids from hard places often have IEP's (Individualized Education Plans....a plan a school has to follow for that specific child). You have counselors and therapists. Doctors. Parents who adopt (typically internationally) are dealing with the child's birth country, counselors, international doctors, and others.
And you feel like you have to maintain a certain standards, not let others see the struggles. You are unsure who to trust when things get hard.
For me, there is a small reprieve from this when I get a text from my sis-in-law, "How can I pray for you? How is this going?" A simple action that means the world. She doesn't have to know every gritty detail. She never judges. She simple asks, listens, and follows through by praying.
It's not hard. Find a family today who is fostering or (is) has adopted. If you don't personally know someone, then do a quick google search. (You can also look at my side tab for families.) Send them a quick text, email, or facebook message. Or better yet, talk to them in person. Leave the judgement behind and simply listen, then pray for them. It WILL make a difference.
No comments:
Post a Comment